I want to desperately

Write

In all languages I know

I want to draw my life in words

I don't want to hide

Be shy about it anymore

I want to passionately 

Share my verbs 

Mixed with adjectives

I want my subject

Subjectively

Reinvented in paper

Beautifully dancing

In a screen

In your eyes

I want you to see me

Vulnerable

Humanly wired

Without understanding the north and south's of being

Written Words have always been my compass

Showing me my inside - Heart Soul Mind

Words made me look and see

Listen

Feel

My understanding of me

You

The world

Dressed with sentences

Exclamation marks

Phrases of phases

 My love for You

Made me come back and stay

My love for Myself

Made me silently leave

 

Photo by Avany Medina on 25/12/2022

She navigates in between moments

People

Feelings

Like a starving soul

Looking for

Connection, compassion, honesty, loyalty, love and light

 

I saw your number on my phone

My heart jumped

Of love, hope and pain

What an inebriating cocktail

I couldn't pick it up

I didn't want to 

For the first time

I had so much hurt in my soul

Flooding my heart

Making its way through my head 

Ready to fly out my lips

The only thing stopping them 

The vision of them reaching you

Cold

Dismissive

Unhurt

Sceptical 

Cynical

 

 

Merry Christmas
Photo by Avany Medina on 25/12/22

 

My body felt you could feel me

I'm real

My mind told me you could see me

I'm genuine

My heart believed you could love me

So naïve

Said the words flying out of your mouth

Cold

Said the ungiven kisses

Desired hugs

Intimacy and touch never fulfilled

The 100 steps back after 1 step forward 

You said it

I heard it

My heart did its own thing

 

 

I don't think I understand 

Love

I don't think I understand

Human

I don't think I understand 

Life

I wish I could understand 

You

But all I got is my understanding of  my

Pain 

Tales of the girl who wanted to live with the Sun - Page 1

 

                             Photo by Avany Medina - Sunrise in Greece

Voltei

Porque o abandono?

Estive num sono

Profundo... Pensei sem retorno

Mas voltei

Me encontrei

De novo... Me asusta as minhas viagens

Obscuro, escuridao

#Rien m’a vu

#Nadie me escucho

Ate que o sol me iluminou

E me falou

E me mostrou

Take me in your heart

Keep me there

And life will begin

Voltei

Me encontrei

O sol vive em mim

Eterno infinito, double infinity, sem fim

Success

 

‘Slay in your Lane’ book advises black women to create their own definition of success. That is why I am here now. To establish what is success for me. To hold me responsible for my own success standards and its achievement.

Since little you will find all around definitions of success. Get married. Have kids. Beautiful perfect family picture. Career. 6 figures. Beauty. Perfection. Basically, playing a role in a script written to fit in millions lives.

Those are some possible definitions. Not tailored to you. Not taking into account your story, your journey, what you want and what you need. And following those blindly is what brings unhappiness and frustration.

Today I finally realised what is my definition of success. For me is ‘I did it my way’ as one of my favourite songs.

I was supposed to have died. Years after I have found myself in the cross of not wanting to live in this world. Somehow, I managed to survive. Reborn. I am alive. That is my first definition of success. Being able to come back from your worse, start over, reinvent yourself and keep going with a smile that is born from the within.

I will not lie. You may lose yourself again along the way. Is not easy. It can be exhausting. Doubts will be a constant. But it can also lead to the happiest realisations and moments of your life. The process makes you realise your strength, your beauty. It gives you confidence and the ability to believe in yourself. It also puts your life into perspective. Get rid of unnecessary weights and people wasting your energy. It reroutes your focus to what matters.

I was never afraid to get hurt. To get drunk. To fall. And fail. To make a fool of myself. To cry. To be weak. Vulnerable. To express myself. To be myself. Even when I was figuring it out. And that is my second definition of success. Making sure when you are reinventing yourself, you are also Evolving. The realisation that we are work in progress. And everyday is an opportunity to grow and be a better version of yourself. Being able to take small steps towards that is a win and a sure pathway to success.

With that comes another definition of success for me. Be open. Be able to listen and learn. We are never done, and our truth is not the only truth. Every person in your life teaches you something you need to know about yourself, others, and the world we live in.

There is a sense of being your own

On your own
In the loneliness of one
A brand new star
No old why
No why
No where
Now what
Is it dark
Or bright
Bring me sun
Over the clouds
I am getting the sense
Of my own
On my own

Pic in
https://iso.500px.com/stunning-black-and-white-nude-bodyscapes-nsfw/

Without
YOU
There is a sense
Of not feeling
Thereafter
After YOU
A too becoming one becoming own
There is a sense of not knowing
Who is the ME without you…

Happy 8th Anniversary

Desnuda a tua vida para mim

Conta-me tua historia

Canta-me tuas memorias

Traduz a tua alma

Entrega-te ao meu toque

Tenho calma...

Nua

Todas as fases da Lua

Desnuda a tua vida para mim

Fala-me de Amor

Teus desamores

Por onde andas

Como te expressas

O que te encanta

Desnuda a tua vida para mim

Eu sem pudores

Temores Ausentes

Assim

Desnudo a minha... shhhhh...so para Ti

Picture in http://sandvand.net

Not Delivered Anniversary

Há beleza
Nas pequenas coisas do dia-a-dia
Neste teu sorriso
No Adeus de ontem
No que nunca encontraste
E nas dúvidas que tiveste
De que este é o momento
Escolheste certo
Errado seria não avançar
Entre tudo o que não fostes
Ainda é mais belo o que és
Há beleza em voltar para trás
Quando borboletas existem
São reais?
Há beleza no minuto em que sabes
Que a tua verdade te faz
Te traz
Te leva
Te deixa...onde queres estar
Há beleza em redescobrir
Que tudo era diferente do que sentias... e ainda assim nao partiste
Nunca negaste
Lutar...Amar...Sentir...Magoar...Ser o que nunca foste
A procura
O deserto
Há beleza neste incerto
Deste meu Eu... Teu Tu
Nosso Nosso
O encontrar
Perder-se
Há beleza em seres o que escolhes
O que foste...o que és...o que serás

Me: Say something romantic to me...
She: I am not romantic...
Me: Well, if you want to be my girlfriend you should start practising. At the end of the day, romantic is just a word for " be spontaneous, say and do what you feel deep in your heart".

by V. I. Medina

No, you silly...How could I ever be afraid of starting over? The refreshing breeze of reborning without losing the knowledge and experience gained in years of life fully lived...and do better than before? No, I don't want to be 20 again. I want to be exactly who I am now. What scares me is to be sucked in a boring routine where I repeat myself everyday without a chance of self improvement, reinventing and reaching my potential. Everyday is a fresh start and a brand new taste of the colours of live...of Me.

By Isabel Medina