‘Slay in your
Lane’ book advises black women to create their own definition of success. That
is why I am here now. To establish what is success for me. To hold me
responsible for my own success standards and its achievement.
Since little you
will find all around definitions of success. Get married. Have kids. Beautiful
perfect family picture. Career. 6 figures. Beauty. Perfection. Basically,
playing a role in a script written to fit in millions lives.
Those are some
possible definitions. Not tailored to you. Not taking into account your story,
your journey, what you want and what you need. And following those blindly is what
brings unhappiness and frustration.
Today I finally
realised what is my definition of success. For me is ‘I did it my way’ as one
of my favourite songs.
I was supposed to have died. Years after I have found myself in the cross of not wanting to live in this world. Somehow, I managed to survive. Reborn. I am alive. That is my first definition of success. Being able to come back from your worse, start over, reinvent yourself and keep going with a smile that is born from the within.
I will not lie.
You may lose yourself again along the way. Is not easy. It can be exhausting. Doubts
will be a constant. But it can also lead to the happiest realisations and
moments of your life. The process makes you realise your strength, your beauty.
It gives you confidence and the ability to believe in yourself. It also puts
your life into perspective. Get rid of unnecessary weights and people wasting
your energy. It reroutes your focus to what matters.
I was never afraid
to get hurt. To get drunk. To fall. And fail. To make a fool of myself. To cry.
To be weak. Vulnerable. To express myself. To be myself. Even when I was
figuring it out. And that is my second definition of success. Making sure when
you are reinventing yourself, you are also Evolving. The realisation that we
are work in progress. And everyday is an opportunity to grow and be a better
version of yourself. Being able to take small steps towards that is a win and a
sure pathway to success.
With that comes
another definition of success for me. Be open. Be able to listen and learn. We
are never done, and our truth is not the only truth. Every person in your life
teaches you something you need to know about yourself, others, and the world we
live in.
