I want to desperately

Write

In all languages I know

I want to draw my life in words

I don't want to hide

Be shy about it anymore

I want to passionately 

Share my verbs 

Mixed with adjectives

I want my subject

Subjectively

Reinvented in paper

Beautifully dancing

In a screen

In your eyes

I want you to see me

Vulnerable

Humanly wired

Without understanding the north and south's of being

Written Words have always been my compass

Showing me my inside - Heart Soul Mind

Words made me look and see

Listen

Feel

My understanding of me

You

The world

Dressed with sentences

Exclamation marks

Phrases of phases

 My love for You

Made me come back and stay

My love for Myself

Made me silently leave

 

Photo by Avany Medina on 25/12/2022

She navigates in between moments

People

Feelings

Like a starving soul

Looking for

Connection, compassion, honesty, loyalty, love and light

 

I saw your number on my phone

My heart jumped

Of love, hope and pain

What an inebriating cocktail

I couldn't pick it up

I didn't want to 

For the first time

I had so much hurt in my soul

Flooding my heart

Making its way through my head 

Ready to fly out my lips

The only thing stopping them 

The vision of them reaching you

Cold

Dismissive

Unhurt

Sceptical 

Cynical

 

 

Merry Christmas
Photo by Avany Medina on 25/12/22

 

My body felt you could feel me

I'm real

My mind told me you could see me

I'm genuine

My heart believed you could love me

So naïve

Said the words flying out of your mouth

Cold

Said the ungiven kisses

Desired hugs

Intimacy and touch never fulfilled

The 100 steps back after 1 step forward 

You said it

I heard it

My heart did its own thing

 

 

I don't think I understand 

Love

I don't think I understand

Human

I don't think I understand 

Life

I wish I could understand 

You

But all I got is my understanding of  my

Pain