I saw your number on my phone

My heart jumped

Of love, hope and pain

What an inebriating cocktail

I couldn't pick it up

I didn't want to 

For the first time

I had so much hurt in my soul

Flooding my heart

Making its way through my head 

Ready to fly out my lips

The only thing stopping them 

The vision of them reaching you

Cold

Dismissive

Unhurt

Sceptical 

Cynical